theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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