and you said cock pushups were impossible
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
foreskin is a definite game changer
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
