Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
