Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
