A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
