I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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