matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
