dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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