You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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