oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
