i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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