people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
