It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
