Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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