im about as happy as oj after his trial
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize