New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
