He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
