am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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