every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
