Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
