I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
