Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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