hell yes lets make some ravioli
Buhtt sex?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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