worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
