Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
