wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Apparently you make a good broom.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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