Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize