come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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