I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
