i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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