you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
