She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I fill condoms, not promises.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
