she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
COCAINE IS GR8
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
