I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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