dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
