How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
