Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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