I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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