the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
