You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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