This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize