My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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