I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize