Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
