I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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