I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
