worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
