The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
