it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize