You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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