Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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