hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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