i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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