imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
