You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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