i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it was like eating out sand paper
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
