My hand turned me down
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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