Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
