i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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