I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
accomplished twins. life is a go
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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