I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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