now i know why i became what i already was.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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