Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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