We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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