Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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