last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
