I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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